You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
