some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
