There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
