Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
