Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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