I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
