once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
