I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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