If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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