2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
