he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
