She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
