Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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