i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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