You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
