Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yo dont text me then not text me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
