eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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