North Korea, Best Korea!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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