is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
