i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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