I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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