Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You can't just leave with hair like that
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
