Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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