It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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