What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
pray to the hookup gods
Terrible idea I love it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
