He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
