i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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