it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
