just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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