Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Small penises have feelings too.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
