I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
