Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
