her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
