you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
