WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
