After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
