My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
false alarm. still invincible.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
