playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
