Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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