did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
