...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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