I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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