You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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