I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
