The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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