And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
