Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
