i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
