I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
