I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
